Beard and Mustache Debate | Which is better?

Let’s assume for a minute that we’re already all aware that facial hair reigns supreme, ok? I will not be discussing a “clean-cut” look in this entry. If you have a problem with that, then you have a problem with the very essence of my Man Blog and are free to be educated here or see yerself out.

Alright, now that we’ve established that…

The beard and mustache debate- Which one is best? Well, you should already know my answer- it’s the beard. But you might just be enlightened by my reasoning. I got no problem givin’ credit where it’s due to the ol’ ‘stache. I do believe, however, that the modern man ought to understand his facial hair history and the part he plays in its legacy. Let me explain…

The Beard

By the good Lord’s design, the human male grows facial hair. That’s just how it’s always been.

Now I know summa y’all might be sayin’, “But wait, Heber- not ALL men can grow facial hair,” to which I say “Hogwash”. They can.

Since the days of Adam, man’s face has sprouted whiskers, and for the most part, man left them there. He had more important things to worry about. Besides convenience, a healthy beard also provided warmth, security, and a symbol of age and wisdom. That’s just as true today as it was in olden times.

When it came to the lady-folk, they knew sub-consciously that a bearded man was a man they could rely on; a man that could protect, provide and please- for no hairless man would have the experience, stability, or physical health necessary to meet her needs.

But in recent generations, society has started messing with God’s design, thinkin’ they know better. Some shave their face entirely, while others trim it down to almost nothing. And like Samson and his hair, they lose their power as men. Some fellas seem to be doing all they can to not be manly (using smelly lotions, getting spray-tans, ordering cappuccinos, etc.), and thereby disqualify themselves from worthy beard-hood. This breaks my heart.

The Mustache

Now, let me first address the wannabe beard by saying this- it is better than nothing. It fails to demonstrate and provide all the things that a beard can, but it moves in the same direction. It’s just not there yet- like the Canadian Football League (sorry Canada, but you know this).

Some men don’t look half bad with the mustache…

But then when they have a beard and mustache…

  

… well there’s just no comparison. The beard is transformational.

Beard and Mustache Debate – Conclusion

I s’pose what I’m trying to say here is that the mustache is just a glimpse of what a full beard could be. It’s the sugar-free. The clearance rack. Kissin’ yer sister. No thank you.

Men ought to embrace and protect that God-given symbol offered to them. Cuttin’ it off is disrespectful, and removing it entirely is disgraceful.

And if you’re still thinking, “Whatever, a mustache is just as good as a beard”, I’ll just leave you with this…

-Heber, The Hatchet Man